Ok fellow Catholics, it's time to fess up.
Let's all pull out our Super-Secret decoder rings, and the hidden handbook (all written in Latin so no one else can understand, of course) and admit to what we REALLY believe, but pretend not to with all those faux "official documents of the Church".
You know what we really believe...that the Pope is more important than Christ Himself, that he can change scripture all he wants and we accept it gladly. (Not quite sure why he hasn't taken out some of those pesky verses as of yet, all that "call no man father" stuff and "doctrine of demons" stuff that describes us so well!)
That Mary is above God in our eyes (since She's His Mother, after all!)
That reading scripture is dangerous, and we're not really allowed to unless a priest reads it to us so he can tell us what it REALLY means, especially when it seems so obviously contrary to Catholic teaching (the REAL Catholic teaching, you know).
That priests are the most powerful and magical people on Earth, and it's necessary to treat them as such.
That Christ needs to bend His will in accordance with His Blessed Mother's.
Come on guys...we've been outed, it's time to admit it!