Eww...ick...*shudder*

I seem to have this odd attraction for bugs, especially roaches, and especially while I'm trying to sleep, which is really BAD because they creep me out. I also seem to have some kind of sixth sense that keeps me awake when they're around. It seems to have started with one particular incident...

Several years ago while living in Tyler, my husband worked overnight and so I usually slept alone. One morning, very early, I suddenly woke up and felt something crawling across my chest. I leapt up and just caught sight of a roach crawling down the side of the bed. I FREAKED out and could not go back to sleep the rest of the morning. For the next several weeks, I had to choose between being comfortably cool, and feeling protected from a roach that might wander onto the bed. Despite my deep hatred for being hot, the only way I could get to sleep was to cover myself head to toe with the covers and tuck them in all around me. After a while, I relaxed a bit, and was able to sleep normally again.

Since that time, though, I don't seem to sleep as deeply as I used to. It used to be nothing could wake me up short of a siren next to my ear...and while that's still true for most mornings, I've often woken up to the smallest sounds, paranoid that it was a bug of some kind. And the scary part is, I've often been right.

For instance, one morning, after we had moved to Austin and Cam was first starting his job, I lay in bed asleep, still extremely tired, but I suddenly woke up. My eyes opened wide and looked around the room in search for anything dark...I didn't see anything. I closed my eyes, exhausted, and tried to return back to sleep. I kept hearing the smallest sounds and then telling myself it was just the creakiness of the house, or a bird outside, etc. I opened my eyes once again, unable to drift back to sleep despite my exhaustion, and saw nearly directly above me, a HUGE roach climbing up the window behind the bed. I shrieked and volted out of the bed. It took me probably half an hour to finally get up the nerve to get close enough to kill it. Once again, I couldn't sleep after that!

Another example is one Saturday morning that Cam and I were lazily lounging in bed after a late night up. The same thing happened...I was tired, I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't. I kept feeling like I was hearing things, but not really hearing things. I kept searching the room, hoping to convince myself there was nothing there. I was halfway between being awake and asleep when I felt compelled to open my eyes again, and just as I did, I saw a roach on the wall, which then fell and half flew, half jumped directly onto the bed!! I screamed and kicked the covers, which fortunately propelled the roach onto the floor. I nearly gave Cam a heart attack by screaming, and we both scrambled out of bed. Another roach hunt ensued (and my dear husband is just as afraid of the nasty critters as I am). We finally found it and killed it, and again my nerves made it hard for me to go back to sleep.

Then, there was this morning. It was early enough in the morning that it was still dark. In fact, I didn't even realize it was morning until later. I was sleeping peacefully when suddenly I awoke for no apparent reason. When this happens to me now, I'm automatically paranoid that there's a bug somewhere, but since it was pitch black, I couldn't even look around to see. I covered my head with the covers, hoped I was wrong, and tried to go back to sleep. I was extremely tired!! But again, a nagging feeling kept me awake and made me extra sensitive to every tiny little noise I heard. I was just starting to drift off when I felt, through the sheet over my head, something crawling. I sat up straight in bed, hoping I had imagined it. My husband had just asked me what was wrong, when I definitely felt something crawling over my hand. I said "roach!" Once again we both jumped out of bed, and Cam went to get the big spotlight. It was still pitch black, and neither of us wanted to venture near the bed to trun the light on there. As soon as he turned on the spotlight, I saw the roach on the side of the bed. Once again, both of us scared out of our wits, we hunted down the roach and killed it. Once again, it took me a long time to go back to sleep.

Why, why, why do I have this annoying bug sense that keeps me awake? If there have to be bugs crawling on me at all, I'd rather I didn't even know about it!!! I'm so tired of the paranoia I get when I wake up for no apparent reason and can't get back to sleep, and even more I'm tired of being right to be paranoid!

I'm not sure why, but apparently St. Dominic of Silos is the patron saint against insects, and saint Gratus of Aosta is the patron saint of insectophobia!

St. Dominic of Silos and St. Gratus of Aosta, pray for us!!