Tools of Grace

Jen has another great blog post with an analogy for how she came to be convinced of the truth of Christianity, and specifically Catholicism. She says she doesn't think the analogy is all that great herself, lol, but I think it's quite accurate. In fact, I remember long ago when I was talking to my husband online about religion long before we were married, I asked him why Catholics had all this extra stuff. After all, why not just stick to the Bible and the Bible alone? His answer was that all this "extra stuff" accompanied and complemented the Bible, all the "extra things" were tools that helped people to put the words on the page into action, to live a Christian life. Of course, that didn't convince me at the time, I still believed he was adding to the Bible and in error. But, those words stuck with me, and now I see clearly what he meant, and I'm so glad to have all those tools available to me. They are a gift from God, and they are what make living an authentically Christian life possible.


I remember once standing in the foyer at my childhood church, probably not too long after I'd been baptized, so I was likely in my early teens. I don't know why the thought occurred to me at just that instant, but I was thinking about all the sins I had committed, and how easy it was to commit little sins all the time. (And since I believed that all sin was, essentially, mortal sin, this was a scary thought indeed.) I also remember thinking of the verse that says God hates lukewarmness and will spew lukewarm people out. I thought...wow, I don't seem to be trying very hard to stop all these sins, because obviously I keep doing them over and over. The thought of battling these sins, of trying to remain free from them for the entire rest of my life suddenly felt like a massive weight on my shoulders and gave me an utter sense of hopelessness, because I knew instinctively that I couldn't do it, although I'd been taught I should be able to. It always sounded so easy, "Just choose not to sin. Don't sin. Just say no to sin." as if the choice alone would somehow come to fruition on its own, or by sheer force of will.

In practice, though, I'd found those "simple" words much more difficult. And honestly, because the kind of statements I heard so often, ("Just choose not to sin") I wondered if I was so bad that it did come easily for others but not for me...and if so, why? What was I doing wrong? (Obviously, if I'd just read St. Paul's words that "I do not what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...I do not the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want," along with St. Matthew's famous words, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak," I would have seen I was most certainly not alone. Even the apostles struggled with avoiding sin!)

I share this story because it provides the backdrop for an example of one of these amazing tools I found in Catholicism, and how I first saw it working so well where my own tools had not. The specific tool I'm speaking of is confession.

There was a particular sin I struggled with growing up. I tried so many times on my own to stop. After I broke promise after promise to myself and God that I would stop, I started to try and find physical ways to manifest my resolve, thinking that would help me keep it. I made contracts to myself, I even once had a mini-ceremony all alone declaring I would stop and never do this sin again, complete with a candle. (Looking back I see how instinctive the need for a physical manifestations of spiritual things is in human nature, I craved sacraments before I knew what they were!)

Needless to say, although I often did better for a while after these promises, and often went longer than before without committing this sin, inevitably I'd fall back. In hindsight, I do believe God was giving me the grace to avoid the sin during those times, my problem was I thought it was supposed to be a one time thing, so when I fell back, I would basically be pushed to despair that I had failed, yet again, and become hopeless at the prospect of ever conquering this sin completely.

Enter Catholicism and her many tools.

Once I became Catholic I started going to confession for this sin. What I noticed is that each time I went to confession for it, the time until I started feeling tempted to it got longer and longer. First it was weeks, then it was months, and I'd eventually, unfortunately, fall again...but I'd head to confession after I fell. And the next time I would last even longer before giving in. One day, I realized it had been a while since we'd gone to confession, and thought we ought to go. And at the same time I realized, I hadn't committed the sin! That was my first confession without having to confess that sin. It felt wonderful...and since that confession, I've not had to confess it again (though, obviously, I have plenty others to confess!). It has been several years and it is hardly ever a temptation at all anymore, thanks be to God.

What is the difference? It's not me...my resolve has not gotten any stronger than it was when I was a teen trying to write myself contracts and have ceremonies. The spirit was always willing, but the flesh was invariably weak. So what changed that?

The difference, I believe, is grace. The grace we receive through the sacraments is a powerful thing. It is not some nebulous pardon of sins or a get out of jail free card. It is efficacious, it is ontic, it is real. I can truly say about this conquering of a certain sin, It is not I, but Christ who lives in me.

To go back to the tools analogy...I believe that all the tools God gives us through His Church work so well for one reason. What they all have in common is that they bring us grace. I'm certainly not saying non-Catholic Christians don't receive grace because they don't have all the tools. God cannot be put in a box, He is not tied to the sacraments, He can give grace where He sees fit. But, the sacraments and other tools are God's clear gift and promise to us, they are an assurance that when we need grace to overcome sin, He is there waiting in the sacraments to give it to us.

I didn't have all those tools (though I had some) growing up, just as I didn't realize the problem was that I kept counting on myself to stop sinning. I know now that I was right so many years ago, feeling hopeless about the thought of relying on myself to stop sinning, because that is simply impossible. Now, though, I have the remedy to the hopelessness I felt in the realization that I simply can't do it without God's grace, but our gracious God is there ready and willing to dispense the very grace we need to conquer sin through the wonderful tools He has entrusted to His Church.

Wrecked Car and New Car

So Cam had an accident about a week ago (he wasn't hurt at all, thankfully)...it wasn't his fault, of course, but our car got most of the damage. Our little Hyundai Accent served us well!







Seeing as that was our one and only car, and we were told by several insurance reps that with the reported damage (and the value of the car) it is most probably totaled, we decided to go ahead and get a new car so that we had a way to get around again!

This is our (slightly used) 2007 Hyundai Elantra.







We're enjoying the new car, although of course we'd rather not have had such a reason to get one.

A Blessed Ash Wednesday to Everyone!

So what are you all doing for Lent?

I'll be giving up sugar (again), that was tough! We'll also be giving up fast food (we've been bad lately!) I'm going to try and pray a rosary each day and start chores, BEFORE checking the boards and blogs.

I hope everyone who is joining the Church at Easter (Aimee and Erik come to mind!) will relish this time of preparation and fasting. I'll be keeping all of you in my prayers, and I can't wait to share your joy with you at Easter!

Let us pray that this Lent will help us reproduce in our lives the self-sacrificing love of Christ. Amen.

Wise Words

Jen gets to the heart of the problem of abortion while explaining her own conversion from being pro-choice to being pro-life.

I didn't want to hear too much about heartbeats or souls or brain activity...terminating pregnancies just had to be OK, because carrying a baby to term and becoming a parent is a huge deal...and society had made it very clear that sex is not a huge deal. As long as I accepted that for people to engage in sex in a contraceptive mentality was morally OK, I could not bring myself to even consider that abortion might not be OK. It just seemed too inhumane to make women deal with life-altering consequences for an act that was not supposed to have life-altering consequences.

When we're fed the lie that you can separate sex from procreation, we make up other lies to convince ourselves that the evil being done as a result isn't really evil, and even more, is a "right" and a good worth fighting for.

Definitely read the whole post, it's great as usual!

To Veil or Not To Veil

On the exer board, a discussion was started about head coverings. A couple women reacted with a kind of instinctive cringe which I think is common today. I don't blame them, and I do understand the reaction, but I think it is one that is because of the time we live in, and I think it is one that comes from a place of misunderstanding and reactionism based in the feminism of our day.

I think true feminism is a good thing, and I'm so thankful for all the good stuff that women have fought for...but I think in many ways the movement has made women uncomfortable with expressing what have traditionally been very feminine attributes at all.

It seems some sections of feminism strove to be man-like. Since men were in charge, many traditionally feminine characteristics were things to be avoided if women wanted to be equals with men. In the process they, certainly inadvertantly, ended up actually furthering the idea that femininity itself is inherently "less than". In my opinion, because of this error many ended up sacrificing true femininity rather than encouraging people to respect true femininity. The result is, many women now cringe at the sight of thoroughly feminine characteristics...including modesty, purity, humility, etc. (All of the things so thoroughly embodied in Our Lady.)

And so we're leftover with knee-jerk reactions to feminine signs of humility and submission (even to God), because we were supposed to get rid of all that, because obviously no woman would ever want to be those things, it was assumed that she was always forced to be those things. I think that's where they went wrong in their assumptions.

Now, it goes without saying, a woman should never be oppressed or forced to do something she is not willing to do simply because she is a woman. But that shouldn't mean that women (or men, of course, but there doesn't seem to be a problem there) can't choose to perform acts of humility or submission willingly, especially before God.

According to the Christian tradition, humility and mutual submission (from both men AND women) is a good thing.

He who exalts himself will be humbled, but he who humbles himself will be exalted.

I think we're so used to crying "OPPRESSION!!" at any sight of women showing some kind of external sign of humility (because of the assumption that it was always by force and never by choice) that we're starting to oppress them ourselves in the opposite manner...they are no longer even allowed to show any kind of external sign of traditionally feminine humility or submission before God for fear of being told they are not "progressive" enough, and they're insulting all those who broke free from their bonds by returning to them.

But I thought true progress meant allowing people the choice. And yet, I find it interesting that those who are the loudest to run to the battle cry of "choice" often seem to actually be trying to push one particular choice above all others.

Some claim that veiling is just an oppressive rule required by men and promoted by men, but personally, most of the people I've talked to who support someone wearing it (should they want to) have been women who felt called to wear one as a sign of devotion. It was humbling for them, because in this day a lot of people tend to look down on them for wearing it, and they're doing it despite that (and the women I know are not doing it as a "holier than thou" thing, although I certainly know those types exist.)

Some say, well it's not necessary so what's the point, other than some kind of forced submission?

In my opinion, It is an expression of faith in and reverence for the Euacharist. There are many things we do that aren't, strictly speaking, "necessary." In the Catholic faith, we believe in an incarnational faith...which means, spiritual things are expressed through physical things. That doesn't mean they have to be, but it means they often are, and this is good and fine. (As opposed to gnostics who thought matter was bad, etc.)

Likewise, our actions and such tend to affect our inward thoughts...not only does blessing myself with holy water upon entering the Church express respect for the Eucharist, it also helps me call to mind my baptism and entrance into the Church, and to remind me physically that I'm entering a holy place. It works both ways, it is both a physical expression of a spiritual reality, and a physical reminder of the spiritual reality.

Such can be the case for some using a head covering too...for some, it is a physical reminder that they are entering a holy place. And there is nothing wrong with that, is there? To assume someone is being "holier than thou" or has been brainwashed into oppression just because of a veil on the head is, to use the favorite accusation of our modern day, judgemental. It isn't right to judge anyone's intentions when we don't know them, charity necessitates that we avoid assuming the worst about people and their intentions.

To be clear, I'm not trying to insist that everyone should be wearing a veil, I don't wear one myself! But I do think it's just as unfair to insist that everyone should as it is to insist that everyone shouldn't (because it's archaic/because it's seen as holier-than-thou/because it's just symbolic and isn't necessary/fill in the blank). I think the gut reactions instilled in most modern women is a sad testament to the errors made by some of the early feminists in denouncing femininity itself.

I'm simply asking for the freedom to let those who want to wear one to do so without reproach or ugly looks or uncharitable thoughts, and for those who don't want to wear one to do so without reproach or ugly looks or uncharitable thoughts. When we get to a place where people can respect others' choices and avoid uncharitable thoughts about them, then we'll be making true progress. Until then, we're just trading one form of oppression for another.